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Recenty, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s trip to Australia put smiles on the faces of everyone they encountered.

This has put hardcore royalists, who cling to the ailing monarchy and despise the Sussexes for escaping it, into a panic.

A series of weird hit pieces have come out. One in particular calls for Harry to divorce his wife and come crawling back and marry and “English Rose.”

Please do not play a drinking game every time that you encounter a racist dogwhistle. You’d surely perish.

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex and Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex meet children and their families during a visit to the Royal Childrenâs Hospital on April 14, 2026 in Melbourne, Australia. (Photo Credit: Asanka Ratnayake/Getty Images)

There are people who believe that the UK must ‘save’ Harry from his happily ever after

It really feels like hardcore supporters of the royal family — and perhaps the royal firm itself — are crashing out over Harry and Meghan’s popularity.

It’s not that everyone likes them. Some people have no opinion on them whatsoever.

But it seems like the two are very well-liked in every part of the English-speaking world except for one little island. It just happens to be the island on which Harry was born.

Amidst the Sussex pair’s trip Down Under, hit pieces have included weird fanfiction about Queen Elizabeth, weird insinuations that Meghan is greedy or a flake (or both?), and whining about the couple’s daughter’s name.

Another new, deeply weird article wants to “save” Harry from … happiness? Freedom? From the love of his life?

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The Spectator‘s William Atkinson, who does not even have the most British name that we’ll mention, argues that “Britain must welcome its wayward prince home.”

In an article that claims to have been initially supportive of Harry and Meghan’s wedding at the time, it doesn’t take long before deeply weird, racist dogwhistles emerge.

“The presence of Oprah Winfrey and an over-enthusiastic American preacher had been a little gauche,” the writer seemingly cannot help but announce.

In the article, Harry’s time serving in the military in Afghanistan was not a praiseworthy act of public service, but something to give a “troubled” prince structure.

The writer also contrasts Harry with another royal from the literal actual 1300s, lamenting that Harry “did not have the delights of conquering the French.” Someone sounding nostalgic for The Hundred Years’ War carries a certain kind of vibe that is unsurprising in such an article.

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex greet members of the public at the Cruising Yacht Club of Australia on April 17, 2026 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo Credit: Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)

This is where things get even worse

The article says that, after his military service, “rather than settle down with a Chelsy Davy or a Cressida Bonas, Harry found himself adrift.”

Those are not exaggerated hypothetical British person names, but the names of actual women. Would it surprise you to hear that both of the women in question are white?

Would it surprise you to learn that the author goes on to describe anyone calling out racism as “grievance-mongering,” even if they themselves are on the receiving end of the racism?

One cannot help but get the impression that the issue with Meghan is that she does not sunburn as easily as the “new Sloane or English Rose” that the author urges him to marry.

The other issue, of course, is that she seems to care about Harry’s mental health. The author doesn’t seem to love that Harry himself cares about it, either.

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During the article, there is whining that Harry is “still trotting out tired cliches about his mental health.”

The author then spirals, spewing out meaningless claims like: “Harry was a victim of peak woke.”

Bizarrely, the article accuses: “His wife embodies all its worst excesses: the stultifying focus on mental health, a nihilistic desire to tear down institutions, perpetual grievance-mongering around sex and race.”

It’s true that, if someone believes that acknowledging systemic inequality and wanting them to change is bad — the definition of woke — then they probably do not like Meghan.

Yes, she cares about these things. But the tone and diction of the article feel like a big priority would be for Harry’s hypothetical “English Rose” to be lily white. Yikes!

We don’t even point this out to call out this particular writer. Mostly.

As we said, it’s only one of several panicked hitpieces that have emerged in recent weeks as the royals watch Harry and Meghan’s effortless charisma in places where their own visits fell flat.

Prince Harry Urged to Divorce Meghan Markle & Marry ‘Traditional’ (White) … was originally published on The Hollywood Gossip.

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